If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
