some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize