This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
