a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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