If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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