So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
