We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize