She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize