dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
