i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
