dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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