im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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