Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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