this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
