Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
