How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
