That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
