You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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