nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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