Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
