Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
