we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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