You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize