I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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