i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
