i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
