So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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