none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
