my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
