One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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