yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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