ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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