I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
