I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
