You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
