Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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