They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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