I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize