Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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