JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize