you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
