i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
