Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
