I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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