That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
