You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
