its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
