Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
