# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
