She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
