he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
