Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize