Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i think im in europe. pls send help
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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