You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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