I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize