can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
