she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
