i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
