I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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