i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
