i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
