if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
