remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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