My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize