You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
