I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
