Midget sex pt 2 tonight
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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