Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
