I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Less talking, more tequila
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
